11
I felt relieved to have shared. I awoke the next day ready to face the world. I head out to start a new week. The stories will continue. They make more sense if I know me. Gives meaning.

12
It was a nice day. Was it summer? Was it fall? The seasons change, always. Following them seems pointless. It was a day none the less. An average day, but a good day. I went outside. For a walk. Some how, some way, I ended up at a mall. I like watching people. I am a people watcher. I am not a stalker. I am an amateur sociologist. Watching interactions is fun. Each person has a story. Sometimes I make up stories. To give these people meaning. To me this was enlightening of my own self. The stories we make up show a lot about ourselves.
---
I watch a group of children run to a store. They have already bought into consumerism. We cannot escape society, even at a young age. Instead we have to hope to change it. I am a consumer myself. Quite often I fall into this consumerism. I buy into the beauty myth. Despite the body I was given being male, I fight the same body image issues as a normal female. Societies pressure to be a certain person. That is not fun. I buy. I buy. I buy. I spend.
This is a filler sentence.
The fashion trends of the world, of society, shape me. I want to fit in. I want to be cool. I want to be like everyone else. I am a girl, I want to be just like other girls. Fashion shapes us all. Society shapes. Trends. Beauty. All is fading. Let us stop buying. Let us stop buying in. I just want to be me. I will shape society. Not society shaping me.
--
I see a group of girls my age. They walk past. Some on cell phones. One is with her boyfriend. They are out shopping. Looking for a deal. I wish to join them. If i knew them, perhaps I could. When they look at me, who do they see? I want them to see me. When I look at them I see peers, I see potential friends. I see other girls. We share this in common. I see myself reflected in other girls. In other female gendered creatures. Some day, perhaps even today, everyone will see me as just another girl. Some people already do.
-
I see another person who is watching the crowds. Perhaps we can be friends?

Today Bec and I celebrated 13 months of dating, and I surprised her with a ring. That is right, Bec and I are engaged. (Pics are being uploaded today)

So here is how it went down:
She was picked up around 11 by a friend (Thanks Kyle!). He drove her to/past 4 locations:

1)Barnes and Noble- where we had our first "date", and hang out all the time
2) Downtown- because we go downtown to do stuff
3)Pilars Cafe - the super awesome restaurant down the street that we always go to
4) highland park - its the park that me and her walked to when we were having the "should we date" talk, and thus where we started dating officially.

At each stop the friend gave her a card that on the front says a word and then the back had a quote or note.
they read:
1)Our
2)Love
3)Is
4) Forever (Which she gets at the park)

My car was parked at the park, with the windows down and the stereo will be playing our song.(First Day of My Life, by Bright Eyes)

When she arrived the note she gets (forever) said “go to the swings” (where we started dating).

On the swings there was a note saying that that was where we started our relationship, but then follow the signs (on poster board) to know where we are going.

There were three signs on three different trees(they read “Walk” “This” “Way”- hooray Aerosmith) that are on a sort-of path to this big hill where I was hiding behind a big tree. At the final sign and tree there is yarn string connecting that tree to the one I was hiding behind, so she follows that string.
As she got closer, I came out from behind the tree, and came down the hill towards her and proposed.

It was wonderful!